Arthur Kaufmann

The Narrator

Rather too fond of the sherry, the mysterious narrator will be your guide through all things Piramanical.

With no respect for either the audience, the cast or the fourth wall, The Narrator will amuse, intrigue and slightly ridicule you as you set forth on your adventure.

Mary Edwards

John Silverman

Our handsome hero. When we first meet John he is a bored and sullen teenager (albeit one who apparently gets lots of girls) who works in a bar with his sister Polly. Very quickly, however, his life is flip turned upside down when he’s given an offer he can’t refuse: to join the crew of The Maiden’s Ruin. Suddenly his life becomes one of adventure and discovery.

Not all discoveries, however, are to his liking...

Donna Sanchez

Polly Silverman

Polly is John's feisty older sister and barkeep of The Lousy Duck - the preeminent drinking establishment in all of Penzance.

Polly is confident and pretty but holds a dark secret that could destroy everything she holds dear…

Harold Horvat


The First Mate of The Maiden's Ruin and probably (definitely) the most sensible person on board the ship. It is Geoff who first recruits John Silverman onto the crew but, from then on, seems rather more concerned with getting ‘down time’ with the Captain.

John Nelson


Guess what he does... nope, he's the cook; rotund and ruddy faced as any Cook should be.

Cookie is friendly and caring and takes John under his wing when he first comes aboard The Maiden's Ruin.

Todd Edwards

Peg Leg Stan

Stan, the Quartermaster, is a well seasoned pirate who likes to fulfil stereotypes. He is grumpy, gruff and sullen and doesn’t actually have a peg leg (we have a budget).

He loathes everyone on board, particularly Cookie.



Simon was the cabin boy before John came aboard and he now holds the lofty rank of midshipsman. Simon is assigned to show John the ropes and they very quickly become like brothers.

Not the smartest member of the crew, Simon has been known to swim with sharks after confusing them with dolphins.



Eyes is the loveable, if slightly ditsy, lookout. She is very caring and is always ready with a wise word or a cwtch.

Eyes is Welsh - VERY Welsh - and as such is used to some somewhat controversial goings on since her childhood growing up in Llakcuf.



Giles is the rather lazy boatswain (pronounced ‘bosun’). If anyone knows what the boatswain actually does, please email

Giles is a womaniser, womaniser and anything that movesaniser.


Captain Ageshy

Our barrel-chested head honcho, with a slight reminiscence of Brian Blessed.

Captain Ageshy took over from Captain Tagonay after his suspiciously fruity death and is now leading the crew of The Maiden’s Ruin to riches and glory.

He is ever so very close to his first mate, Geoff.

VERY close.